Dealing with life’s more difficult characters is indubitably a challenge. In a way they are some of our greatest teachers & we should welcome their appearance as real signs that we are on track spiritually. They ‘press all our buttons’ to try to get a reaction. Staying calm and peaceful in the face of aggression is a skill indeed.

Author of ‘Let the Standing Stones Speak’, Natasha Hoffman says, ‘…it is not possible to grow spiritually without meeting a tyrant or two and learning about ourselves from them. They too are teachers, and what we can learn from them is how to shift negative energy and transform it into light; into lightness of being.’

We may not always be able to avoid aggressive and unpleasant people, but we always have a choice about how we react, however persistent the person is. Standing our ground in a passive way can often be far more powerful than having a row. You may need to have a good rant and rave behind closed doors to get the aggression out of your system, but it is an achievement if you can avoid shouting right back at the other person. After all many aggressive people need to provoke a reaction to keep their anger flowing and given half a chance they will connect with and feed off your angry energy as it flares off in their direction. Who wants to give them that kind of power over you?

There is nothing wrong with calmly and clearly stating your case and standing your ground, if that’s what you need to do. You do have a choice though. Sometimes it is stronger still to refuse to engage. With the wonders of global communication there are literally millions of people in the world you could be communicating with right now. You always choose whether you want to give your time and energy to any one person- no one can demand you speak to them, however much they jump up & down.

All of our actions contribute to our personal karma. Those who give out negativity are accumulating a karmic debt that will inevitably catch up with them, it is not our concern to worry about when or how that will be, the Universe will always strive for balance.

If you are feeling in need of protection from someone you can visualise a mirror held up in front of you reflecting their energy right back at them. I feel this exercise is neutral on a karmic level; you are not sending any negativity yourself, merely holding up a mirror. They will get a feel for the quality of energy they send out & hopefully learn that this is their responsibility, you get a shield and respite from them.

Once you step away from an argumentative person you may feel your emotions are all churned up. Maybe you even feel hatred for the aggressor? The stronger your feelings the more important it is for you to find forgiveness for the person that whipped them up. Why should you forgive someone who has wronged you? Well there are several good reasons, other than the gazillion good karma points you earn!

First and foremost you need to forgive because it is good for you. While you are still angry and resentful of a person you are energetically connected with them. At a subtle energy level they have got their hooks into you. Letting go of the anger & sending forgiveness instead releases the energy connection and frees you of the energetic drain.

Holding onto resentment & anger can literally make you ill too. It can weigh you down. If you can let go of it you will instantly feel lighter and freer. Sometimes a person can have been so abusive towards you that your very human ego self can’t find forgiveness for them. If this is the case then ask for your Higher Self, your spiritual self, to send the forgiveness. From a higher perspective this can always be done. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself.

Lastly remember that life’s tyrants usually have very sad histories. People with loving family backgrounds and pleasant life circumstances do not feel the need to shout at, abuse, or harangue others. Know that an aggressor is always in need of healing at some level. As you send forgiveness ask that they find healing and peace.

I leave you with a traditional Gaelic blessing that never fails to connect me to that well of inner peace.

Deep peace of the running waves to you,
Deep peace of the flowing air to you,
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,
Deep peace of the shining stars to you,
Deep peace of the shades of night to you,
Moon and stars always giving light to you.