Most of us, at one time or another, experience a deep longing to be understood by another; to be seen at a soul level. Connection is vitally important to us.

I believe that’s why the idea of soul mates and twin flames are so popular in the new age culture; they both imply a special relationship with a deep connection and deep understanding.

The feeling of longing is actually inherent in our soul. This has to do with our soul purpose, which is to re-discover who we are; a divine being in a body. So this longing gets us moving toward discovering and expressing our soul’s purpose.

“We do not need to go out and find love; rather, we need to be still and let love discover us.” ~ John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

However, often people will look to have this longing fulfilled by another person. At first, this relationship can seem quite mystical, but more often than not, reality sets in, and this perfect partner suddenly becomes less than perfect.

Each of us is a soul, and our soul individuated from pure Source Energy (God, the Universe, Creator of All Beings). As a soul, while in spirit, we have a deep awareness of other souls. This is because everything is connected in this Divine Consciousness. We, as a soul, will then choose to incarnate into physical reality to further our understanding of being an individual soul. In this physical reality, it’s a lot harder to have awareness of our divine nature!

This works wonderfully because as an infinite being in a body, we have to learn to consciously align with our Divine Nature. In a body, we aren’t just automatically all knowing when it comes to our Divinity.

The idea behind the twin flame relationship is that one soul is split in two and they are separated before incarnation, so they must live in a state of longing for the other half of themselves; always feeling incomplete. This relationship implies that there is a connection so deep, that as an individual, the soul will never feel whole until they can find their other half.

Where this is a truly, deeply romantic notion, it doesn’t make sense on a soul level because it implies a lack of wholeness. Whenever lack or limitation are present in our beliefs, we will experience that feeling of separation. However, as a soul, we can never be incomplete.

And this is part of our wonderful experience on this planet - we get to discover how to align with our divine nature, and experience wholeness again.

You’ve probably had the experience of that feeling where you need something in particular to make you happy. Maybe it was a new cell phone, or a specific crystal, or moving into your dream home. And where these things can indeed make us happy, that happiness is temporary because we are relying on a source outside of ourselves to make us happy.

And the same thing can happen in our relationships! If we put the burden of our happiness on our partner, we stop taking any responsibility for ourselves, and will eventually need to find some new thing outside of ourselves to bring us happiness! That may include finding a new partner! 



Taking responsibility for your own happiness is extraordinarily empowering! And through this empowerment, you may discover that someone you saw as a twin flame was merely a distraction from a relationship that’s not working, and needs your attention. Or you may feel empowered to make your current relationship deeper and more fulfilling.

This is really a good thing! As you align yourself with Source, you are more open to receiving the very best for yourself in that moment, including a vibrantly loving partner. Through your own sense of wholeness you invite those deeply loving experiences, creating a sense of belonging and connection in your own life.

The idea of a twin flame, though romantic, is actually very limiting because it implies that you are not whole, and that you don’t have that force within you to experience wholeness. The truth is that you were created by the same force that put the galaxies into their spin; you have everything within you necessary to experience wholeness and love, and to attract a loving partner and deeply fulfilling connections.