Guest Author - LeeAnn Bonds
The human tongue, a weak muscle about four inches long and weighing in at just over two ounces, causes more damage every day than any other created thing in the universe. Granted, this is only because it’s connected to a human brain, although sometimes you gotta wonder if that’s always the case.
James puts it this way: “the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.” Strong language, yet I think James may have understated the situation. I have never shot or stabbed a person. I’ve never even punched anybody. But I’ve hurt people just by opening my mouth and letting the words flow out. It’s so easy to do it’s terrifying.
As a child of God, I try mightily to tame my tongue, but James 3:8 tells me I can’t do it (as if I needed a second opinion on that!). I need God’s help. I thank God for His Holy Spirit dwelling in me, setting a guard over my mouth, keeping me back from presumptuous sin, seasoning my speech with grace…when I am obedient to His leading. If only I could just take back what I said in the last ten seconds!
Whoever decided that sticks and stones can break our bones but words could never hurt us must have lived on a different planet. Words hurt terribly. Consider this list of verbal weapons: lies, sarcasm, gossip, backhanded compliments, subtle snubs, tattling, filthy language, temper tantrums, backbiting, rants, whining, cruel joking, mocking, humiliation, boasting, telling secrets, cursing, disrespect, sassing, taunting and teasing, carelessly saying whatever pops into your head. There are more in the arsenal, but surely that’s enough to set anyone thinking about how easily such things slip from between our lips. We’re all guilty of at least a few of these sins. And they are serious sins, some being included in Scripture’s occasional lists of wicked acts done by the ungodly, mixed in with murder and adultery and idolatry.
Here are some things I’ve found helpful in taming my tongue:
Write a note to yourself, perhaps including Colossians 4:6, and place it where you will see it throughout the day. Maybe stick several notes up in the places where you find you’re most likely to let your tongue get out of control.
Do a Bible study: get OnlineBible or any good concordance, and look up all the places where “tongue” appears in Scripture. List the bad and good things people do with their tongues. Jot down the advice given, the warnings, the promises. Line out some guidelines for yourself based on what you learn.
Ask a friend to help you be accountable for your words. Confess your failings to her, ask her to nudge you if you need nudged.
If you find that your tongue is out of control, pray for forgiveness, for self-control and wisdom. The satisfaction of slicing an opponent to ribbons with your razor sharp tongue dissipates with lightning speed when you realize that your opponent is really your beloved husband, or that you’ve ruined any chance of ever sharing Christ with the poor soul you just annihilated. Get control, keep trying, apologize when you fail. But recognize that apologies don’t erase the memories of your rash words, or the hurt, or the possible consequences.
Please note: Email-Facebook-chat-Twitter-IM-texting words count too, even if it’s technically your fingers doing the talking instead of your tongue. Even worse damage is possible in this realm, because your words live on forever in cyberspace, ready to be quoted, cut and pasted, passed from person to person, back around to you…ugly, ugly. Think before you click ‘send.’
