To Cook or Not to Cook
(An Imitation of Hamlet in Honor of the 400th Anniversary of the Death of Shakespeare)
L. A. Prince
To cook or not to cook: such is the problem:
Whether 'tis superior for the body to endure
The heat and boiling of a hot stove,
Or to take cellphone against the work of cooking,
And by calling end hunger? To cook- to call-
A number; and with a call to know we cancel
The hunger, and the growling grumbling cacophony
that stomach is known for, ‘tis a dilemma
Fervently to be solv’d. To call- to cook.
To cook- possibly to eat: oh, there´s the issue!
For in that cooking of food what horrors could result
When we have burnt up the tuna casserole,
Which causes us distress. There´s the hunger
That makes catastrophe of even a simple recipe.
For who could endure the pangs and pains of hunger,
The cooker´s error, the bad chef´s blunder,
The spasm of oppressive famine, the recipe´s ingredients,
The cramps of stomachs, and the burns
That hot coils cause from the casserole pan,
When the cook herself its oven removal makes
Without a mitt? Who must burns endure,
To wait and eat later a superior meal,
For then to worry about takeout that’s bad.
No foodie wants, upsets the stomach
And causes remembrance of meals made
Instead of calls for food that may not be hot.
For hunger does make cooks of us all;
So when the true joy of cooking
Becomes clear in the sharp pang of hunger,
And calls of true ease and simplicity
With the phone the waiting pales more,
And loses a fight of note. – Cook we will!
The fiery Bobby Flay, in thy image
Are all my attempts made.