Holidays are most often associated with joy, and togetherness, family and food, and giving and thanks. For some women that is not always the case. Even if you have all of those things, sadness and even despair can be components of the festivities. This article is dedicated to all women who have been faced with a difficult choice, and experience difficulties as a result, during the holidays.

The loss of a pregnancy, no matter the reason or circumstances, is an extremely difficult thing for many women. It can be especially excruciating during holidays when togetherness can also trigger feelings of loss.

There are many ways to ease some of the pain, and even memorialize or honor your loss, quietly or openly.

For this article, I will be using Christmas as an example of different ways to honor a loss, but many of my suggestions work for all different holidays or can be modified some to fit the different occasions. It is easiest to continue in the theme of the specific holiday with which you are struggling.

My favorite, that happens to work for any holiday, is the lighting of candles. They can be scented or unscented, and just about any color you can imagine. The color can just be a favorite of yours or in some way significant to the time of your loss. Of course, never leave them unattended, or too close to anything that may catch fire.

There are many types of candle holders that can also be of significance to your personal loss. If you are a believer of angels, a lover of stars, have a particular favorite flower, or are a collector of butterflies, you are sure to find a holder that helps represent what you want.

You can buy inexpensive bulb ornaments and use glitter glue to write a year or the word angel. You can also find plenty of inexpensive ornaments in all kinds of shapes and types to suit your needs.

One of my favorite ideas is to buy a plant or some type of flowering tree. At Christmastime, a poinsettia is an obvious choice, and comes in many different colors. They can however be hard to maintain, so unless you have a particularly lucky green thumb, you can choose any type of plant you want, including a hearty low maintenance cactus.

If you live in a warmer climate, a small memorial garden with or without a personalized stepping stone, is also a wonderful choice. Another option, again in warmer weather, is to buy a few inexpensive helium balloons and set them free.

Whatever you decide to do or not, I hope it brings you the comfort you seek, and makes the holidays a little less painful. Even when you may feel like you are the only one who feels this way, you are never alone.

Merry Christmas