Guest Author - Molly Carter
The attachment parenting model is based on the Attachment Theory proposed by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1960s. It was popularized by Dr. and Martha Sears in their “The Baby Book” and later in “The Attachment Parenting Book.” Attachment parenting, sometimes referred to as attached parenting, is a style of child rearing focused on the bonding of baby with his or her primary caregiver. The bonding is reinforced through several parenting strategies, including breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing and response to baby’s cries. The attached parenting philosophy is geared towards nurturing a secure socio-emotional development in children.
According to Attachment Parenting International, there are eight fundamental principles involved in attached parenting: preparation for pregnancy, birth and parenting, feed with love and respect, respond with sensitivity, use nurturing touch, ensure safe sleep—physically and emotionally, provide consistent loving care, practice positive discipline, and strive for balance in personal and family life.
Attachment parenting is based on the ideas of instinctual parenting methods. By keeping baby close, through such things as baby wearing and co-sleeping, mom and other caregivers can respond quickly and efficiently to baby, not only reinforcing the initial bonding, but building a trusting relationship and a well rounded, empathic child. This sensitive and baby centered approach is key to attachment parenting.
Baby’s bonding instincts begin right at birth and, if possible, baby should be held and cuddled as much as possible in early infancy. Attachment parenting beliefs include keeping baby close and the importance of touch, such as the skin to skin contact achieved through breastfeeding. Co-sleeping, including room sharing, creates another bond, as well as aiding in a reduction of response time to baby’s cries and encourages breastfeeding.
Positive discipline and how mom responds to baby’s cries are another important aspect of attachment parenting. The belief is that baby cries to express a need or discomfort, not to anger or manipulate. Therefore, there is no reason to let a baby “cry it out,” particularly a newborn. Instead, respond as quickly as possible to reinforce the fact that someone is there to meet baby’s needs. This not only increases the bonding experience, but encourages trust in the child’s development.
To be an attached parent, you don’t have to follow every principle or belief set forth by the attachment parenting movement. If you believe in or practice any of these principles, along with the idea that you should follow your parenting instincts, you may be an attached parent. Remember, it is not a defined set of rules, but only a theory and style based on child bonding.
