With Valentines fast approaching, it can be a bitter sweet time for some. For those who are single or who have recently lost a loved one; Valentines can be painful.

The relationship we have with ourselves is the most important one, and we can only ever express to another the same amount of love we are able to give ourselves.

Here are some ways to help you to love yourself and feel extra special anytime of the year:

1. Treat yourself well - If you are waiting for a man to buy you flowers or a nice gift, treat yourself to them instead. Put flowers in your home and anything else that makes you feel good. The way we treat our-self teaches others how they should treat us.

2. Buy your favourite food - Prepare yourself your favourite meal and really savour it. Enjoy every mouthful and cook it with love.

3. Put yourself first - Many people feel that putting themselves first is selfish, however if you never put yourself first no-one else will. Say what you need and don’t compromise yourself or your feelings.

4. Be kind with your self talk - Look in the mirror each day and tell yourself ‘I love you’ over and over. Tell yourself how beautiful you are and how proud of yourself you are for all you do. When you look lovingly at yourself and you will feel loved and accepted.

5. Set healthy boundaries with others - Having healthy boundaries is a mark of self respect. Knowing when to say ‘no’ to others and listening to yourself when you feel encroached upon by others can help you feel safe and more able to act confidently in the world.

6. Take time to relax - Make time to walk in nature, meditate, read or craft; whatever it is that you enjoy the most, make time each week for those things.

7. Visualise your happy life - Visualisation is a powerful way to create new things in our life. When you ‘feel’ into a dream that you would lie, and act as if it is already happening, it is possible to create it as your reality. Giving thanks for the abundance you have or the love that surrounds you and acting as if it is so makes you a beacon for attracting the things you want. It may seem odd at first, though it won’t take long until it feels natural.

8. Gratitude - Having a gratitude practice can really transform your life. Instead of looking at all the things you don’t have, look every day for things to be grateful for. It may be challenging at first, however, if you persevere you will soon notice only the good things in your life.

Shifting our perception from what we feel we are missing from ‘another’ and giving it to ourselves is so therapeutic. It acts to helps us feel like we are deserving of love and acceptance rather than feeling alone and that no-one will ever want us.

Independence and having a life are very attractive qualities. The confidence that comes from loving yourself is magnetic to everyone around you, and they will mirror back to you the love you feel for yourself in their actions, words and deeds.