Many people are facing financial hard times in the current mortgage and job loss crisis. Those who have retired have to return to the workforce, while others who have been working in their companies for many years, are now finding themselves suddenly unemployed. These uncertain times are difficult for families and working couples, and can be even harder for the single woman who must face these uncertainties alone.

It’s during times like these that single women tend to make their greatest relationship mistakes. Because the ‘’real world’’ is so depressing, looking for a little distraction in the form of a mate starts to look like a nice alternative. But it is during times like these that we need to take a giant step back and get a grip on our lives and our senses. We all know that a little love can make things a whole lot better – but, now is the time to remember that a little ‘’bad’’ loving can make things a whole lot worse. Focus on making your life better.

While everyone needs to feel ‘’needed’’ and as though they have a purpose, especially when facing a crisis - becoming ‘’needy’’ will only hurt you in the end. Helping others is a great way of feeling as though your life has meaning; it is a wonderful way of helping others find their way in the world. But, volunteering at this time may not be the most realistic way of dealing with your current situation. So, what can you do when you are feeling as though your own life is spinning out of control? First thing you should do is take a realistic assessment of your situation. Ask yourself some hard questions such as; what can I change, and what is out of my control? Do I need to deal with this situation immediately, or do I have some time to find alternatives? How long can I survive in the current situation financially? Or, do I need some assistance now? And, lastly, what are my options to ensure my wellbeing in the future?

Finding answers to these questions is imperative and must take precedent over every thing else in your life now. Place everything that is not essential to your immediate well being on the back burner, and put YOU up front. Make a list of what can be done today, and what needs to be done by day’s, week’s, or month’s end. Prioritize your list and make it clear and precise. Then, get moving on making things happen.

If you are facing a crisis surrounding your living quarters, put in place some temporary alternatives that may include staying with family or friends. Take an appointment with your selected caregivers, and map out a concise plan designed to help you get back on track with your independent life. For some people, it may be very difficult to ask for assistance, or to give-up their solitude, however, it is important to look at the long-term goals and make the necessary sacrifices that will lead you in the right direction. The same is true if you are about to become unemployed.

Making lists will help you keep your thoughts clear when things around you are confusing and chaotic. Look into going to some yoga classes in your area, or get some guided meditation tapes to help you relax in the evenings. Whatever you do, and whatever the situation might be that you are facing, you must, I repeat, you must, take care of yourself first. You can be of no good to anyone, yourself included, if you allow the situation to control you. Instead, know that you are in control of your thoughts and how you choose to proceed, and take faith in knowing that no matter how difficult things may be at this moment, all changes in life begin with a single, decisive step.