Guest Author - Jacqueline Geller
In our busy world of shuttling kids, keeping house, probably working outside the home and taking care of everything in general, how many times do we hear "great job" from anyone in our world? We love to hear that though, don't we? Sometimes a positive comment makes our whole day and helps us to remember how terrific we really are!
Now, think about our kids and how we talk with them. How many times do we focus on the positive rather than the negative things they are doing? How many times do we focus on that "C" on the spelling test and ignore the "A" on the math test?
I have a challenge for moms this week. Instead of focusing on the negative, get that "A" paper up on the refrigerator and praise it to the skies. Comment on how great an outfit looks or how much neater the room looks with the bed made.
Sure, you need to address the negative things too, but how about using this approach? "Gee, I see that you did a fabulous job on your math test, but you seemed to have some difficulty with spelling this week. Would it be helpful if you and I worked on next week's list together to see if we can pull that grade up?"
Not only have you not been the ogre with the nasty words, you have turned yourself into an ally who is willing to help! What kid can turn down an offer like that? Help from a parent AND no yelling? What a concept!
While this certainly won't fix all of your parenting challenges, it will be a giant step toward establishing a more positive relationship with your child. It opens the way to being able to talk things through when there are smaller problems, rather than not knowing what to do when the larger problems hit.
I'd love to hear from you on your experiences with this. Try it for one week consistently and let me know how it works for you! I'll bet that it works so well that you will continue into week two. Before you know it, it will become a habit. Your kids will love you for it! AND they might give you a pat on the back also--what a concept!
