5 Rules for Blind Dates
My favorite blind date story is actually from a movie: Keeping the Faith.
In it, Rabbi Jake Schram has his entire congregation trying to set him up, and "all of these mothers are making theses dates" for him that he can't refuse, and he was faxed a resume of one of the daughters ("she put jogging as a skill.". As he's knocking on the door you hear him mutter "please let this be painless." Once he punches her in the stomach on a dare, it just sets the tone for what the rest of it will be like.
To quote another movie, "he's just not that into her."
It's every blind date nightmare, wrapped into 3 minutes of film, complete with him knocking her down in the street to escape her grip and leap into a cab.
Everyone needs to have their own set of rules about blind dates, but here are a few that I adhere to:
1. Do not under any circumstance let the words "I don't care" come out of your mouth if someone says "what kind of person are you looking for?" If you don't know what you're looking for, it's nearly guaranteed that you will find exactly that.
2. Do not feel obligated to go on a blind date with someone just because of who is trying to set you up. Being able to effectively match people is an art, like humor. Not everyone can do it. If you're uncomfortable with who is trying to set you up, thank them for their care and concern and decline. Don't let peer pressure to make someone else happy interfere with your decision.
3. If you accept a blind date, keep your expectations realistic. As soon as you hear about your blind date, the rolling list of questions around "what's he going to be like?" begins running in your head. Don't deny it. I know you. ;) This is an interview and they are an applicant. That's all. Push everything else aside and don't romanticize them.
4. Be honest at the end of the date if it's not working for you. I once had a blind date that lasted 20 minutes. Admittedly, not my kindest hour, but I was so utterly not interested because we had nothing in common that it was my only option.
5. If it doesn't go well, be honest with the person who set you up, but be gracious. Share your drama with your best friend in the 15 minutes it takes you to drive home. For the person who set you up, be kind. Don't get into the details over why it didn't go well. Simply tell them there wasn't a connection. Usually, this happens when you aren't clear with them on who you're looking for. It's no one's fault. It just is.
In it, Rabbi Jake Schram has his entire congregation trying to set him up, and "all of these mothers are making theses dates" for him that he can't refuse, and he was faxed a resume of one of the daughters ("she put jogging as a skill.". As he's knocking on the door you hear him mutter "please let this be painless." Once he punches her in the stomach on a dare, it just sets the tone for what the rest of it will be like.
To quote another movie, "he's just not that into her."
It's every blind date nightmare, wrapped into 3 minutes of film, complete with him knocking her down in the street to escape her grip and leap into a cab.
Everyone needs to have their own set of rules about blind dates, but here are a few that I adhere to:
1. Do not under any circumstance let the words "I don't care" come out of your mouth if someone says "what kind of person are you looking for?" If you don't know what you're looking for, it's nearly guaranteed that you will find exactly that.
2. Do not feel obligated to go on a blind date with someone just because of who is trying to set you up. Being able to effectively match people is an art, like humor. Not everyone can do it. If you're uncomfortable with who is trying to set you up, thank them for their care and concern and decline. Don't let peer pressure to make someone else happy interfere with your decision.
3. If you accept a blind date, keep your expectations realistic. As soon as you hear about your blind date, the rolling list of questions around "what's he going to be like?" begins running in your head. Don't deny it. I know you. ;) This is an interview and they are an applicant. That's all. Push everything else aside and don't romanticize them.
4. Be honest at the end of the date if it's not working for you. I once had a blind date that lasted 20 minutes. Admittedly, not my kindest hour, but I was so utterly not interested because we had nothing in common that it was my only option.
5. If it doesn't go well, be honest with the person who set you up, but be gracious. Share your drama with your best friend in the 15 minutes it takes you to drive home. For the person who set you up, be kind. Don't get into the details over why it didn't go well. Simply tell them there wasn't a connection. Usually, this happens when you aren't clear with them on who you're looking for. It's no one's fault. It just is.
Related Articles
Editor's Picks Articles
Top Ten Articles
Previous Features
Site Map
Content copyright © 2023 by Christine Wilcox. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Christine Wilcox. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Bernardine Idioha-Chidozie for details.
