Whether it’s encouraging children to clean their room or closing a business deal, understanding how to get others to take action is a powerful skill. Here’s an important fact to remember - When people take action they want to be able to BRAG about the results.
I’ve broken down the “encouraging” process into four areas:
1. Some basic principles of the decision-making process:
* When people make a decision they want to experience positive results.
* Most people are moved to action by either getting away from pain or going toward gain.
* People will take action as soon as they believe it is in their best interest.
* People make decisions when they recognize and understand what’s in it for them.
2. Five positive communication “do’s":
One: Remember, it’s about the other person’s needs, wants and desires.
Two: Come from a place of integrity, respect and honesty.
Three: Speak with sincerity.
Four: Look at the situation through the other person’s eyes.
Five: When in doubt wait until everyone involved can think clearly.
3. A decision-making truth - Anyone making a decision, even a small one, wants to believe they’ve made a good decision. Every decision-maker wants to BRAG about making wise choices.
4. People BRAG about their decisions for these reasons:
B enefit relates to how well a person believes they will be better off because of taking action. Unconsciously everyone is asking, “What’s in it for me?” Learning to effectively point out benefits will get a “yes” more often.
Example: With a clean room you’ll be able to find your toys faster and you’ll have more time to play.
R elief relates to whether or not the person believes they will find an answer or solution to their problems and challenges. Relief is about moving away from something that is troublesome or problematic. When you can demonstrate how they will find positive solutions, a person is more likely to take action.
Example: If you don’t pay an additional $200 a month on your credit card balance it’ll take you fourteen months instead of six months to pay that card off.
A ction relates to a person believing that the action you’re asking them to take will move them toward a pleasurable outcome. Action is moving toward something.
Example: By taking one more class this semester, you’ll be finished with your degree in just eight months.
G ain relates to how making this decision will emotionally, physically, spiritually and/or financially enrich their life. People will follow your suggestions more often when they understand exactly what they will be gaining.
Example: By making time to write down your goal of a dream vacation to Hawaii, you'll actually increase your chances of achieving it.
Please understand there is a difference between encouraging the action you want someone to take and manipulation. Assisting others to go forward in positive ways is coming from a place of shared cooperation and encouragement. Manipulation is only caring about your own wants and desires.
People will follow your lead when they fully trust that you have their best interest at heart.
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