Guest Author - Susan Hopf
No way!
It is, in fact, a painstakingly complicated process – beginning with one small seed, a speck of dirt and a drop of water. And so the journey begins.
Grass and other sorts of greenery grow from seeds sown on the wind. These seeds are blown about, land in the dirt and then anxiously wait for a drop of water to help them sprout. Once sprouted these fragile beginnings of plant life must then passively avoid being eaten by critters above and below the surface. If lucky enough to survive the sprouting then these delicate tendrils reach and seek out soil in which to nourish themselves, root and grow into all sorts of foodstuffs that horses like to eat.
Meanwhile at the opposite end of the food chain a little girl is reading about little pastel ponies, black beauties, black stallions and little horses that can – do anything. Four-footed collectibles line the shelves, floor and bed of this budding equestrian’s domain. She is fed plants and various sources of protein to “grow big and strong”. Many hours are spent grooming and dressing the multi-colored array of equines.
Nagging of the parental units ensues – lessons, horse camp, jodhpurs, boots and helmets follow. Time passes as all go back and forth, back and forth, to the barn, day in and day out, all for an hour’s worth of time spent with a big-eyed gentle giant. Up, down, up down and round and round they go as these parental units freeze or sweat in a musty, dusty barn and arena all the while calculating costs and smiling with enthusiasm each time the child/horse unit trot by.
After several years the child/horse unit will wish to travel to different barns and arenas in order to engage in the up down, up down, round and round, with hope of obtaining a few brightly colored ribbons. As the ribbons accumulate the child will require a more personal equine unit in order to obtain more brightly colored ribbons and perhaps a trophy. The search begins for an appropriate candidate. More freezing or sweating in more barns and arenas and more cost tabulating take up most of the parental unit’s time. Distances are traveled and many perspective equines are evaluated and rejected until the perfect pair of eyes is found that also match the perfect coat color, mane texture and length of tail. Once this perfect equine is acquired and delivered to the barn of choice the travel time is slightly less – but only for that amount of time that the child/equine unit’s trainer deems necessary for the pair to safely engage in yet more traveling in order to obtain yet more brightly colored ribbons.
There are two constants in this ever-changing (and money-sucking) endeavor – the first is that the child’s love of the equine unit never waivers and the next is that no matter the barn, arena, weather or distance traveled manure happens. There is nothing that can be done to prevent this natural phenomenom but for the seed to never take root – ah but what a colorless existence that would be and where then would the child learn to love another creature so different, yet also so similar, to her bipedal family and friends.
