Sorry Cards
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My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!

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How could two people as beautiful as you...Have such an ugly baby…

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Friendship cards
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We have been friends for a very long time... What do ya say we call it quits?

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You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

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Birthday cards
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Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost lifelike!

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Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.

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Religious cards
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I must admit, you brought religion into my life... I never believed in Hell till I met you.

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Job cards
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Congratulations on your promotion! Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.

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Relationship cards
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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... that you're not here to ruin it for me.

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Looking back over the years That we've been together, I can't help but wonder...What was I thinking??!!

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I'm so miserable without you. It's almost like you're here.

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I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind.

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Someday I hope to get married... But not to you!

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When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

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I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's your leash, water bowl and chew toys.

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Congratulations on your wedding day! (Too bad no one likes your spouse.)

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