Guest Author - Beth Helmstetter
You’ve decided to take the plunge, again. After being faced with a myriad of questions and mixed reactions from your loved ones, you may or may not be excited about planning your wedding. Well, get excited!! Weddings by definition are a celebration of your love and commitment to another person. There is nothing in this definition saying weddings are only for those who fall in love just once. This being said, keep reading for the top dos and don’ts when planning for the second, third or even fourth time around.
DO change your attitude. Repeat after me: “I’m engaged and deserve to be excited!” Never, I mean never, say things like “well, you know, this is my second wedding, so it’s no big deal.” This is a common attitude for brides the second time around. Publicly committing your love to a person IS a big deal and like all brides, you should have your day, your way.
DON’T limit your options. Listen carefully: You can have a bouquet. You can wear white. You can have a first dance with your new husband. You can be given away by your father. There are no limitations. It’s your day, so maintain that attitude throughout. On the other hand, if you want to wear a nice pant suit or a tea length dress and skip the veil, go for it, but only because this is what you want. Do not make any decision because you feel like you don’t have the right to participate in a meaningful tradition.
DO make it different. While you can do everything traditional if you like, consider planning a different type of event for a subsequent wedding. If you had a formal church wedding the first time around, consider marrying at a private estate in the Caribbean. On the other hand, if you eloped or had a small at home ceremony the first time, go ahead and plan a swanky black tie affair for 200 this time around.
DON’T expect gifts. While a couple should never expect gifts on their wedding day, this is even truer with a second wedding. This isn’t to say you won’t receive gifts at all, but do not be disappointed if you don’t receive gifts from each guest in attendance, especially those who were at the first wedding.
DON’T forget the children. One beautiful aspect of second weddings is the children. If you or your fiancée have started a family already, don’t forget to incorporate them into your day. After all, when kids are involved, you are marrying more than just one person, you are marrying the entire family. Show this by exchanging vows with the children during the ceremony. Or, give each child a gift such as a necklace, ring or piece of jewelry that shows the world you are all one big happy family.
DO develop selective hearing. Many well meaning friends and family will say things like, “you’re too old to toss the bouquet,” or “you can’t wear a formal wedding gown,” and hey, you may even agree with them. But no matter what, you should determine for yourself if these traditions are right for you.
DO have fun. Weddings are fun. There’s no way around it. So, whether this is your first or fifth wedding, remember one rule: the wedding day is about you and your fiancée. It should be a blast, while representing who you are as a couple. And, when approached with the right attitude, can still be one of the best days of your life.
Whether you elope with the children, or plan an over the top party, know you deserve to celebrate your union just like any other couple. Have fun while making the plans and even more fun letting the world know you’re in love. You deserve it. Happy planning!
