We just love "Firefly," and the dialogue is just one of the reasons. Here are some of our favorite quotes from the series. Please note that the episodes are presented in the order they aired, not the order that is considered to be canon. 


From "The Train Job": 
Inara: What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?

Mal: That it was manly and impulsive.

Inara: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was, "Don’t." 

Mal: Well, you’re holding my mechanic in thrall. And Kaylee! What the hell is goin’ on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?



From "Bushwhacked": 
Commander Harken: You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?

Zoe: Fought with a lot of people in the war.

Harken: And your husband?

Zoe: Fight with him sometimes, too.

Harken: Is there any particular reason you don’t wish to discuss your marriage?

Zoe: Don’t see that it’s any of your business, it’s all. We’re very private people.
(Cut to interrogation of Wash)

Wash: The legs! Oh yeah, definitely have to say it was her legs. You can put that down. Her legs, and right where her legs...meet her back. That, actually that whole area. That, and...and above it.

From "Our Mrs. Reynolds":
Mal: I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I’m an evil, lecherous hump.

Zoe: No one’s saying that, sir.

Wash: Yeah, we’re pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.

From "Jaynestown":

Book: What are you up to, sweetheart?

River: Fixing your Bible.

Book: I, um, what?

River: Bible’s broken. Contradictions, false logistics...doesn’t make sense.

Book: No, no. You - you can’t...

River: So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Even. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven 11 times, but always comes out one. Noah’s ark is a problem. 

Book: Really?

River: We’ll have to call it “early quantum state phenomenon.” Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.

From "Out of Gas":

Mal: Which one you figure tracked us? 

Zoe: The ugly one, sir. 

Mal: Could you be more specific?

Marco: Do we look reasonable to you?

Mal: Well, looks can be deceiving. 

Jayne: Not as deceiving as a lowdown, dirty...deceiver.

Mal: Well said. Wasn’t that well said, Zoe?

Zoe: Had a kind o’ poetry to it, sir.



From "Shindig": 

Sir Warrick: You have to finish it, lad. You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten, yet breathing? It makes him a coward.
Inara: It’s humiliation.

Mal: It would be humiliating, having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man. (He stabs Atherton, not too hard). Guess I’m just a good man. (He stabs again). Well, I’m all right.

From "Safe":

Book: That’s...that’s quite a lot of blood, isn’t it?

Mal: Just means you ain’t dead.

Book: ‘Fraid I might be needing a preacher.

Mal: That’s good. You just lie there and be ironical.



Zoe: Cap’n’ll come up with a plan.

Kaylee: Well, that’s good, right?

Zoe: Possible you’re not recalling some of his previous plans. 



Zoe: You sanguine about the kind of reception we’re apt to receive on an Alliance ship, Cap’n?

Mal: Absolutely. What’s "sanguine" mean?

Zoe: Sanguine. Hopeful. Plus, point of interest: it also means "bloody."

Mal: Well, that pretty much covers all the options.


From "Ariel": 
Zoe: Can we find someplace with a beach?

Wash: Maybe a naked beach? (They kiss.)

Mal: Cut it out. Job’s not done ‘til we’re back on Serenity. 

Zoe: Sorry, sir, didn’t mean to enjoy the moment.


From "War Stories": 

Wash: Hey, I’ve been in a firefight before. Well, I was in a fire. (Pause). Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity.



Wash: I mean, I’m the one she swore to love, honor and obey. 

Mal: Listen...She swore to obey?

Wash: Well, no, not...but that’s just my point! You she obeys. She obeys you! There’s obeying going on right under my nose!

From "Objects in Space": 

Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What’ll she do next?

Zoe: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It’s a toss-up.

Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It’s always a hoot, and we don’t all die from it.

From "Serenity":
Wash (playing with dinosaurs on his console, pretending to be a stegosaurus): Yes...yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it...This Land.

Wash (as allosaurus): I think we should call it...your grave!

Wash (as stegosaurus): Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

Wash (as allosaurus): Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!
Wash (as stegosaurus): Oh no, God, oh dear God in heaven.



From "Heart of Gold": 


Kaylee: Everybody’s got somebody...Wash, tell me I’m pretty.

Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion. 

Kaylee: ‘Cause I’m pretty?

Wash: ‘Cause you’re pretty. 

Kaylee: Thank you. That was very restorative. 



From "Trash": 

Inara: Right. You’re a criminal mastermind. What was the last cargo we snuck past the Alliance to transport?

Mal: We made a perfectly good piece--

Inara: What was the cargo?

Mal: They were dolls.

Inara: They were little geisha dolls with big heads that wobbled!

From "The Message": 

Zoe: Scared her away again, did you? 

Simon: This may come as a shock, but I’m actually not very good at talking to girls. 

Zoe: Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?



From "Serenity," the movie:


Wash: Yeah well, if she doesn’t give us some extra flow from the engine to offset the burn-through, this landing is gonna get pretty interesting. 

Mal: Define interesting.

Wash: Oh god oh god we’re all gonna die? 

Mal: This is the captain. We have a...little problem with our engine sequences, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then...explode.



Mal: Doctor, I’m taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly. There could be tears.

Operative: That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain. 
Mal: Way I remember it, albatross was a ship’s good luck, ‘til some idiot killed it. (To Inara) Yes, I’ve read a poem, try not to faint.