Get Your Husband to Open Up

A silent man can exude cool sexiness, but after a while, a woman wants her man to open up and let her into his world. Here’s how to get your reticent guy to do just that:

Common reasons why men don’t talk to their wives

They don’t have a lot to say. Unlike women, men don’t feel the need to communicate their thoughts and feelings to others. They don’t want to solicit feedback or need to gather a consensus of opinions as they formulate their thoughts. Men also have an uncanny ability to sustain a blank mind for long periods of time. My IT husband says it is like “de-fragging” which is a computer term for a process during which a computer is reorganizing its data to make it more efficient.
They don’t want to be misunderstood. Some men aren’t good at articulating their thoughts and feelings; they often choose inaccurate words which their wives misinterpret, and it often leads to unintended arguments and painful interrogations.
They don’t want to tell their wives what they’re thinking because they know that their wives might not like what they’re thinking. Again, it is an argument-avoidance strategy.
Men don’t want to be judged.Men often clam up if their wives have a habit of judging or criticizing their thoughts. Everyone has a right to his own beliefs.
The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive act. Some men use silence as a way to communicate their dissatisfaction or anger. Withdrawing their attention can be an effective punishing or retaliatory act.

So what can you do to change all this?

Give him time to think. Quiet men need some time to think over and choose their words well. It’s okay to have some silent spaces in your conversation.
Don’t interrupt.It isn’t that some men don’t try to talk; they usually can’t get a word in when their wives launch a non-stop monologue.
Resist the urge to correct his grammar or speech. Don’t be petty. People who correct others when they speak are insufferably boorish. Focus on what is important: his message.
Listen without judgment.If you want to hear what your husband has to say, listen without judging what comes out of his mouth. You don’t have to agree.
Ask open-ended questions. Those types of questions require more than simple yes or no responses.
Keep his confidences.He’ll feel safe sharing private information with you if he knows you won’t blab to your friends or family.
Don’t force it or make the process uncomfortable for him. Let the conversation flow gently. It shouldn’t be a police interrogation. And if he doesn’t want to talk, try again on another occasion. No pouting.
Believe him when he says there really isn’t anything on his mind. Whereas women often have a running commentary in their minds, men have this wonderful ability to experience periods of time with a completely, blissfully, blank mind. An uncluttered mind is a good thing. It usually takes a lot of meditation to acquire this much-desired state.
Maintain a happy marriage overall. This way, he won’t feel compelled to use silence as an avoidance, withdrawal or passive-aggressive act.

If you make communication a pleasant process for your husband, he’ll open up more and more. Sharing his innermost thoughts will feel safe and intimate, and this type of communication will strengthen your bond every time you connect.