Guest Author - Raymond F. Hanisco
“Coin Collectors are just a bunch of stodgy old men and women who spend their days examining coins through a magnifying glass.” A quote like this gives one the mental image of a group of people in Victorian dress, sipping tea, and regaling over some minor variation found on the surface of a coin. Oh, what fun! This cannot be further from the truth. Coin Collectors or Numismatists have a fantastic sense of humor. They are no different then anyone else. They laugh, tell jokes, and have fun, each in their own way. In order to prove my point, I scoured the countryside to find just one thing Coin Collectors do to have fun. In a large metropolitan area, I found a nice pub that was built around the coin collecting theme. It was called ‘Loose Change.’
I decided to enter this establishment. It was wonderful. The pub was filled with customers. There was what appeared to be World War II vintage coin pin-up art on the walls; the dance floor was full with couples dancing to the old standards like “Pennies from Heaven” and “Three Coins in the Fountain;” and, the bar top was covered in coins under glass. It looked like a great place to meet other people with the same interest in Coin Collecting, too. Having seen this bar, I thought I should get a woman’s perspective on this place. I called a woman I know, let’s call her Penny, and I asked her to check the pub out.
Penny is a tall lady about 5’10” tall, with long blonde hair and baby blue eyes, and all the curves in just the right places, but above anything else, she has this insatiable desire for collecting coins. It seems she just hasn’t met the right kind of guy for her.
It took about an hour and a half to talk Penny into a visit of this quaint little pub. I escorted her there the next evening, but once we were inside, she was on her own. It was for research. I had a great time, but Penny got into a little trouble towards the end of the evening when she hit one of the patrons. I’ll tell you more about that later. Penny just didn’t seem to have as nice a time as I did. At the end of the evening, she told me that all these guys kept trying to pick her up, and she just couldn’t believe some of the lines these men were using. The following are just ten of the worse pick-up lines she heard that evening.
#10 – Your name is Penny? So, if I pick you up, I’ll have good luck?
#9 – A 1995 double die penny for your thoughts.
#8 – You’ve just moved to the top of my ‘Want List.’
#7 – If I help you catalog your coins, will you whiz my Saint?
#6 – Want to get Certified?
#5 – I’m not really this tall, I’m just sitting on my wallet.
#4 – Hi, I’m from PCGS (Professional Coin Grading Services), and I’m here to see if you make the grade.
#3 – You must be the model for the ’07 Saint Gaudens’ $20 gold piece because you’re definitely high relief.
#2 – I could just have a roll of Silver Dollars in my pocket, or maybe I’m just glad to see you.
And, the #1 worse pick-up line used in the Coin Collecting pub was: I bet you were the model for the Standing Liberty Quarter....Show me your right breast, and I’ll know for sure.
I guess Penny didn’t have as much fun as I did, but I did promise to tell you about the trouble in which she became ensnarled.
Seems this non-coin collecting fellow wandered into the pub. Seeing Penny, he immediately fell head over heels for her. He approached, spoke, and that’s when she hit him. She hit him so hard, he flew over two tables, and landed flat on his back, a knock out to you boxing fans. I rushed her out of there before the police showed up, and asked her what happened.
She said, “That guy told me I was worn, and well used and lacked detail and luster. He said I had no real definition, and I was just average. Kind of middle of the road.”
“Penny,” I replied, “he wasn’t standing there long enough to say all of that before you hit him. Just what exactly, did he say?”
He said, “Baby....you look fine.”
“Honey,” I said, “he was wrong, you are definitely Mint State.”
