Marriage and Monogamy

One man, one woman. Bonded together for life. In caveman days, there were biological benefits for human beings pairing up. Raising a child together took two caretakers. Restricting a man’s conquests to one woman meant available females for other less dominant males and hence a wider gene pool for the human race. As societies formed, marriage meant merging and increasing kingdoms. And let’s not forget that most religious precepts forbid sexual relations outside of marriage.

As we evolve, we rethink our social norms and consider what no longer fits. Many widely held practices have become outmoded: child marriages, child labor, blood-letting as medical treatment and such. When the divorce rate stands as 50 percent, we need to consider why and how the institution of marriage is failing. But before we discuss that, let’s take a look at the possibility of marriage becoming obsolete.

Reasons why marriage could become an antiquated notion

All the most compelling reasons why men and women married, as in made their commitment legal and formal, no longer exist.

1. Women no longer need a man to provide for them.
2. Women no longer need a man to secure any legal rights.
3. Women no longer need marriage as a political tool.
4. Societal norms today allow for sex outside of marriage.

What society would require before marriage will be outmoded
Marriage still provides benefits, especially in child-rearing. We still lack sufficient child-rearing resources. In some societies, children are raised in a communal effort but we have a long way to go to establish those arrangements elsewhere.

Another area is psychological; People still want an exclusive access to their partners for emotional security and ego fulfillment. Can you love more than one person? Could you maintain a loving relationship with more than one person? Some do. If you don’t believe you can, ask yourself why? What is your underlying belief that makes you believe in marriage? Is it religious dogma?

Why I still advocate for marriage

For me, marriage is a choice I make not for religious, social, legal or political reasons. I suppose, it is purely ego-based because I love this one man above all others and hope that he can return the same level of devotion. While it is possible for me to love more than one man, the amount of energy and emotion that goes into my relationship with my husband can’t be duplicated. I could never love another man with the same passion and soul-commitment. How can you give your all and still have more to give another? That implies you aren’t giving your all to one man.

I believe that love is boundless and at its source, it is inexhaustible. But humans have a basic need to feel unique and significant. When you pledge your all to one very special person, how precious he will feel. And he should because he means the world to you. And no one else could ever take his place.

That type of love is something that I hope will never be outmoded no matter how much human beings evolve because it imbues life with a beauty and magic that makes this often difficult earthly journey worth living.