Guest Author - Paula E. Kirman
Back when I wrote the article "The Other Half," a lament about Jewish men and the problems we Jewish women have relating to them, I expected a huge backlash. Instead, I got a few e-mails of support from other Jewish women, and just a couple of brave souls decided to challenge me on what I said. Two Jewish men who were intelligent and articulate, and really made me think about a lot of the things that I said in the original piece.
As a result, I felt it was only fair to give the other side of the other side (so to speak) some time. Jewish women. Yes, just like the one who is writing this article now.
I'll admit it -- we can be pretty impossible sometimes. Is this really different than women from other faiths and cultures? Some of us are very spoiled and materialistic, just like the stereotype of the Jewish American Princess (JAP for short) dictates. But there are others who are more left-wing, and into social causes by trying to make the world a better place, following the Jewish ideal of Tikkum Olam (healing the world).
I think a lot of Jewish men have negative views of Jewish women due to experiences with their mothers or other Jewish women in a position of authority when they were young. As well, the media doesn't help. When was the last time there was a positive portrayal of a Jewish person as part of a sitcom or dramatic series? In television and movies, Jews, both men and women, are often portrayed as being narcissistic and neurotic. There is no normal person living a normal life who just happens to be Jewish. Jewish characters are singled out withs ome sort of negative trait.
But I'm talking about Jewish women in real life here. I've known my fair share of them who have made me feel ashamed to be who I am. Because I didn't come from a rich family or wear the latest styles, and they did. Again, I am not sure if this is a specifically Jewish girl thing though.
Men tend to not like women who are high-maintenance. So if there is a cultural bias towards a certain group of women known to be high-maintenance, guess who they are going to avoid? Then again, I have never had trouble attracting men of all walks of life -- except for Jewish men.
I don't think I am the exception to the rule though. I know there are nice, normal, non-materialistic Jewish women out there who are also being shunned by Jewish men. But that is what I wrote my other article about.
Instead, I want to focus on those Jewish women who make the rest of us look bad. The ones who made kosher mince meat of my childhood. Girls: smarten up! Does it really matter if you have the latest fashions, or your makeup is perfect, or you are seen at all of the society events? Come on -- there is more to life than that. Read some books on Jewish history, or better yet, the Torah, and learn what being Jewish is really about. It's not about snagging a rich husband or being seen in the "right" places with the "right" people.
As well, even if you are not rich, please bear in mind your attitude. No one likes someone who is bossy and nags. Don't overly coddle your children -- if you have sons, they will grow up to dislike Jewish women. And if they are girls -- they will grow up to be like you.
There. I feel better now.
