Conflict is bound to occur in your marriage, no matter how much you and your partner love each other. That’s why it’s so important that you learn to cope with conflict when it inevitable occurs.
In fact, the way we often handle conflict serves to escalate tensions and make matters worse. Are you or your spouse guilty of any of these methods of handling conflict?
1. AGGRESSION.
Responding to conflict with verbal (or even physical violence) can help you win the battle in the short-term but you will lose eventually. Getting your way through violence and intimidation is a sure fire way to even more serious marital problems down the road.

2. AVOIDANCE
Avoiding the problem is not a healthy response either. Instead of fighting like the individual who chooses aggression, you take flight. But running away from conflict does nothing to resolve the underlying issues and by the time you decide to face them, it may be too late to do anything about it.

3. SUPERFICIAL
This is an attempt to soothe things over with your partner in order to make the conflict disappear, without really resolving anything. It’s like putting a band-aid on an infected wound.

4. COMPROMISE
This may sound like the ideal solution, but in some instances it may be. But if you are the one who always seems to be doing the compromising, it may not always be.

So what can you do to resolve conflict?

You can discuss your feelings openly and honestly with your partner, look for the underlying causes of the conflict and search for a mutually satisfactory solution to the problem.
It’s not easy to learn productive conflict resolution skills, but it’s well worth the time and effort it takes.

Unfortunately, you aren’t taught these vital skills in school, so it’s up to you to learn them on your own.

Here are 3 books that can teach you the communication skills you need.