Winter is the time of year we go inside both literally and metaphorically, slowing down our natural rhythm to take an inventory of the past year. By New Year¡¦s Day we have resolved to be better and do better as well as shed what no longer works. Then a couple of weeks later our resolve thaws and melts away. Nothing has changed except for a renewed feeling of failure. Clearly, shame is never a sustainable motivator. However, resonance is; In other words does your resolution resonate for you, or is it some goal you ought to achieve derived from social mores, familial expectations or jealousy?

If you aspire to resolution success, I have one surefire strategy: Ask yourself this basic question: How badly do you want it? The answer will give you better insight.

Whether your goal is a traditional weight loss/fitness program, getting married, improving your status at work or writing a book, how intensely you work to achieve it correlates with your motivation. And if you find yourself getting off course or your initial motivation weakening, ask yourself how badly you want it to gauge if you still do. Differentiate ¡§wouldn¡¦t it be nice,¡¨ from persistence. Keep going in your mind, aspire and believe that your efforts will yield results. Make a commitment mentally and physically.

Here are 7 steps to guide you to identify your true goals, openly and joyously:

1. Ask yourself: How badly do I want it? Make sure your goal supports your identity and is not imposed by others. Free yourself from the bondage of what you should do.
   
2. Use your passion to be single-minded.
   
3. Break down your overall plan into manageable steps which you can tweak along the way.
   
4. Be consistent to keep up the momentum. Perfect practice makes perfect.
   
5. Listen to constructive criticism in order to do better. Everyone needs a reality check.
   
6. However, don¡¦t listen to your stern inner-critic, or jealous family/friends/ colleagues who undermine your confidence.
   
7. Don¡¦t compare yourself to others. Understand how you differ and seek your level to become the best that you can be in your own time. If you feel jealous about someone¡¦s success, ask this person how he did it and then do it too.

Change your life story where you perceive yourself as flawed or inadequate. Accept the self to build on your strengths. It is quite difficult to sustain good habits when you begin with the premise that you are a loser.
Remember to work it out for a total mind/body commitment. Move that resolution from your mind right through your body. Think it and do it, a form of self-hypnosis. Find an exercise which matches the mindset like doing chin ups to keep your ¡§chin up,¡¨ or set a specific intention for each workout like today¡¦s workout is about balance and stability or to strengthen your legs to walk to your next happiness.

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For more information on managing your stress and reclaiming your life read my book, Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life. To listen to archived radio shows with guest experts visit Turn On Your Inner Light Radio Show