Until you throw multiple parties, you won’t know that all the real prep happens 15 minutes before the festivities are scheduled to begin. Many party goers are under the assumption that if you watch enough Martha Stewart you are going to suddenly pull off a party with minutes to spare, your lipstick on and everything in its place. Sadly, this is not going to ever be the case. Those who entertain regularly realize that and know how important those final minutes can be to throw a memorable gathering.

When you find yourself running early and you are considering arriving at a party before you are expected, ask yourself if there is a specific start time. Was a beginning time listed on the invitiation? Did your host say something to the effect, “I’ll see you at 7:00?” If the answer is yes, then resist the desire to ring the doorbell early.

If you do, in fact, knock on the door before the party is set to begin, there are some specific things you definitely should not do. Whether significantly early, or even within 30 seconds of the start time, don’t:

Ask for a drink

Ask someone to take your coat

Start eating the food while it is still being prepped and brought out

Sit on the couch and talk on your cell (you could have done that outside or in your car)

There are many things you can do if you ring that doorbell before the festivities begin. If you arrive early be prepared to:

Acknowledge being early

Offer to help with open arms. There’s nothing worse than someone crossing their arms and asking, “Can I help?” Your posture alone is saying that help is the last thing you want to do

Jump in and do something

Find the bar and offer to make your host a drink

If you have arrived with a hostess gift, find out where to put it and place it there. If you have flowers, put them in a vase. Offer to open wine bottles or light candles. Then get to work. If the host is flustered or acts like there’s nothing left to do, ferry food out to the table.

With the general busyness of our lives we all tend to run a bit late. Running early is something we all strive for. If you find yourself being one of the fortunate few who have a few spare moments, ask yourself if there’s anything you can do before ringing that doorbell early. Did you pick up a hostess gift? Do you have a call to make? If there’s nothing left to do, then go ahead and knock on that door. Just be prepared to assist with the party prep in whatever way you can.