Guest Author - Paula Petrie
For a child to learn self-control he needs your control and boundaries. Boundaries, like a big hug help a child feel safe. He knows what is expected of him and he feels that you care about his well being.
If your child constantly asks why, consider if she is really interested or if it’s a stall tactic. When you are convinced it’s the latter saying, “Because I don’t want you to do that,” is all that’s needed. If she keeps asking why, change the subject.
You have to be open to stage growth, sometimes when a child is refusing what you have asked him to do, it’s because he believes he is “too old” for such things and needs to be shown that you also feel he is mature enough for older responsibilities, such as, being left to perform a task by himself without help. Even very young children respond to feeling they are respected.
For days when a child’s actions, while not bad, are reverberating off the walls and making you crazy, go outside. The wide-open space dissipates the confusion. The air refreshes, and you can reclaim your own space. If the weather is bad, let your hyper-house-wreaking child fizzle out and save your energy to reward the good behavior that will eventually come. On an evening when you and your small child are spent and out of control, fill up a bubble bath and climb in together. Guaranteed to calm you both down.
I am not going to dispute the power of a spank, but as a continual discipline tactic remember violence breeds violence, and eventually your child is going to feel like hitting you back. Children constantly threatened into behaving lose out on an opportunity to respect you and may even become sneaky or release the stress with wild behavior.
If you are raising a difficult child and feel that you are past the point of coping. Look for some help. Join a local mom/tot group. Find a sitter so you can recharge! You may even consider a part or full time job. A break is good for you and good for the relationship with your child.
