Guest Author - Debbie Striker
There are plenty of books on the market today that contain hundreds of pages and exercises to free yourself from your inner critic. Most of them involve writing reams of paper acknowledging what you tell yourself when your inner critic is speaking. While these exercises are helpful in some cases, they can also hinder your progress and keep you mired in the negative thoughts.
A better way to make the inner critic quiet is to replace it permanently with a inner enthusiast. Every time you have a critical thought, turn it around to something positive and see how you feel. Reach within yourself and pull up the moments when you’ve been successful at something similar to what you’re about to attempt, or find others who have figured out ways to do the impossible.
Cultivating your inner enthusiast is fairly simple. In the beginning you’ll need to make a conscious effort to hear it’s voice. After a little practice, you’ll hear it loud and clear all the time! For many of us, it seems to be easier to think of your inner enthusiast as a close friend. You may choose to write down what this voice says to you, or simply listen closely.
Pretend your inner critic is that friend who you avoid talking to unless you absolutely have no other choice. You know the one. Most of us have someone in our lives whose number we refuse to answer when it appears on our caller ID. Sometimes we’ll answer it out of obligation or a sense of duty, but very rarely. Pretend your inner critic is that friend, except you also need to remember that it’s not a real person, so you truly have no obligation to actually spend any time with it at all.
The voice you hear may be your own, or someone else’s. Often, I hear the voice of a very dear friend that I lost to brain cancer many years ago. Our running joke was that I knew I could call him at 3 am and tell him that my burning passion in life was to paint the moon purple. His answer would be to ask when the paint store opened so that he could help pick out the exact shade. There were no ideas that were too outlandish, too ridiculous or too impossible. That’s what you’re looking for - unwavering support.
Each time your inner critic speaks up, gently acknowledge it’s point of view and let it know you’ll get back to it in a minute. Then go to your inner enthusiast and see what it says. The more time you spend listening to the enthusiastic responses, the less appealing the critic will be. You’ll be having so much fun with your enthusiast that you won’t even need to acknowledge the critic. Eventually, your inner critic will disappear completely.
Yes, some ideas or projects will be larger than you’re ready to handle or just not right for you at the moment, but unless you’re willing to dream huge dreams, you’ll never be able to accomplish the creative uniqueness that is your path.
