Guest Author - Kelly Aveiro
Bedtime is often a battle ground between parent and child. Here are some suggestions for turning it into a relaxing and loving time when you can bond with your child instead.
1. Develop A Regular & Consistent Bedtime Routine.
A regular bedtime routine provides your child with a series of predictable events that helps him to unwind and relax. This makes falling asleep a lot easier. The bedtime routine you establish should suit your child and your family. It can include some time for quiet play, a warm bubble bath, a bedtime story, a snack, brushing teeth, some cuddle time or a back rub, a few moments talking about the day, or any other activities that will help your child to wind down after a busy day.
The important thing is to follow the same routine each night.
2. Give Your Older Child Some Choices About Her Bedtime Ritual.
Much of the resistance over bedtime has to do with your child's need to assert his will. That's why it's can be helpful to give your child the chance to make some limited choices. This often defuses the power struggle. Simple things like asking your child to choose which book to read for bedtime the story or what what pajama's he wants to wear can help your child feel more in control.
3. Notice What Helps Your Child To Calm Down & Relax.
Watch your child and see what activities help or hinder sleep. Then eliminate those that hinder sleep in the evening and make the ones that promote sleep part of your child's nightly routine.
Cuddling your child, reading her a bedtime story, having a warm bath or a milky drink may all help your child to feel more relaxed and sleepy. Some active play outside in the early afternoon also tires toddlers out physically and may therefore make it easier for them to go to sleep at night.
On the other hand, certain TV shows, roughhousing and video games can make it harder for children to fall asleep.
4. Give Your Child 5 Minutes Notice Before Lights Out.
Five minutes before you leave the room ask your child if there is anything else that she needs. She may want another kiss, to go to the toilet, or a glass of water. Dealing with her needs before you leave the room makes it easier to be firm if your child keeps getting out of bed once you tucked her in and left the have left the room.
5. Teach Your Older Child How To Relax.
Once your child starts playing pretend games you can start teaching her how to use her imagination to unwind and relax. Ask her to pretend that she's lying on a cloud and being gently rocked to sleep. Or you can ask her to pretend that she is in her favorite peaceful place. If your child is about four years or older, then you can suggest that she think about something pleasant that she wants to dream about.
If your child complains that she cannot fall asleep, you can tell him that all he needs to do is lie still and relax. He cannot force himself to sleep. He will fall asleep when his body is ready.
6. It's not your responsibility to make your child sleep.
Although you would probably like to, you cannot force your child to sleep.
All you can do as a parent is provide an environment conducive to sleep. It's your responsibility to put your child to bed, but it's your child's responsibility to fall asleep.
Trying to force your child to sleep only backfires by creating tension which makes falling asleep even harder.
7.Be prepared to stay firm.
You're read your child 5 bedtime stories, given him two dozen hugs and just as many kisses and a sip of water. Then you said goodnight, turned out the light and slipped out of the room. You've just settled down with a good book and a steaming cup of hot cocoa when your child climbs out of bed and asks for a snack. What do you do?
Children will use any ploy they can think of to avoid going to bed. You have to be calm but firm and take her back to bed as many times as necessary. Don't yell, scream or show that you are annoyed or upset. If your child gets up forty five times be prepared to put him back forty six times. The first few nights will be difficult, but once she realizes that she can't have her way, she will give up and stay in bed.
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