Guest Author - Paula Petrie
This time in our society is like no other, in the sense that our children are exposed to more “material stuff,” more exciting technology, and more disposable income, than any other generation. And we are the chosen ones granted the task of protecting and guiding them. Where is the line between the modern adequate and overabundance?
Joan LeFebvre, Prof. at the Dept. of Family Studies, put it this way, “Overindulgence is the current culture. Parenting is counter culture.”
People feed many types of needs, and hungers. And because of this I feel it is of paramount importance to ensure our kids have time and distance from the material things they crave. When we are quick to feed our children’s material whims, or when we shield them from the pain and work required to develop an accurate understanding of life, lust, and self-sufficiency, we may be inadvertently producing gluttonous attitudes. And kids do become spoiled.
The problem with children having all or even most of their material wants fulfilled, is what they become capable of, to ensure they continue to get all they want. I don’t say a child’s life should be filled with denial, but certainly denied enough to develop a realistic perspective.
Kids can be tricky, however, here are some of the skills children need to become strong and healthy consumers:
-learning to manage their emotions
-physical self-management
-learning how to accept responsibility
-and, gaining an ability to slowly work toward goals and achievements
Children will become resentful and act out if parents don't teach these life lessons that overindulgence will block.
-Don’t let children off the hook. Kids need to face up to how they act and to learn how their actions affect others.
Kids do need consequences. Let children know in advance what the consequences of certain behavior will be. Don't let it go till next time.
-Children need to accept responsibility for their emotions
Parents need to help kids examine and understand their feelings and outbursts. Children also need to learn skills to deal with their emotions in a positive way. They have to learn to face, and not hide, their feelings.
-Children need to learn how to take responsibility for their physical health
Treats and pop should be kept as special (treats!) with fresh air and exercise priortized.
-Kids need to understand and manage their finances. They need to save some of their pennies. Children also need to develop a variety of skills through practice, patience, and perseverance, in hobbies and sports, for example.
Bernie Siegel MD., author of Love, Magic, and Mudpies, suggests beginning kids with a dollar allowance. 75 cents to bank and 25 cents for indulgence. He also abides by Jesse Jackson’s adage, “Your children need your presence more than they need your presents.”
We are living a consumer-based life. Our exposure to “come have it all” advertising is tremendous. Could this prompt for insatiable desire cause kids to cross lines of civility or manipulate? Absolutely! Life and growth are pain and joy. When we protect our kids, and ourselves, from growing and learning pains, by ignoring improper behavior or with purchases, we are starving the deeper needs of a healthy soul.
Does the current marketplace help maintain and grow the unhealthy “dog eat dog mentality” in our society? I have to think it does. Have we set a course for the future generations ravenously taking instead of gaining a deeper understanding of, or at least accepting the fact that, we “must” make allowances for this planet and for each other?
