Home by Choice: Raising Emotionally Secure Children in an Insecure World
as the title suggests, is a book about the importance the mother-child bond plays in the healthy development of a child. According to Dr. Hunt the best way to ensure your child's optimal emotional, physical and emotional development is to stay home and make parenting your children your primary responsibility.Dr. Hunt speaks from her own experience and candidly shared the mistakes she made raising her own children. She offers hope and advice to all mothers of young children. Drawing on both her own experience and the latest research Dr. Hunt shows mothers how to form a strong and lasting bond of attachment with their children even though you may not have had that as a child. She also explains why a child needs to bond with his mother (not caregivers or grandparents) - There are hidden implications that you may never have even considered.
She then goes on to explain why daycare research done by female psychologists may not always be accurate and how they are sometimes very unfairly biased. Everything I read made sense, especially when I thought of my husband. He was raised by a cold, unloving and emotionally unavailable woman and is still suffering because of it.
The many negative side effects of daycare that Dr. Hunt describes in Home By Choice are also clearly visible in my nephew who is the product of a broken home and was in daycare from the time he was 3 years old.
Unlike other books on the importance of being a stay at home mom, Dr. Hunt acknowledges that many moms have no choice but to work. She provides a few alternatives to full-time employment outside the home, such as part-time employment or working from home. She says "Part-time employment allows a woman to maintain her skills and still go grocery shopping, attend Little League games, volunteer at school and at Church, and have something left in her emotional bank for her children and husband on a daily basis."
And if you think that only younger children need you to be home, then you're wrong. An entire chapter in "Home By Choice" is dedicated to why teenagers need their moms as much as younger kids.
And if you've been influenced by the work of ardent feminists such as Gloria Steinhem, Betty Friedan and Germaine Greer, then Dr. Hunt reveals the surprising link between these women's viewpoints and their troubled childhoods.
The chapter on "Why Kids Kill" Dr. Hunt says that the absence of healthy attachment to parents is the reason that some kids turn into cold-blooded killers.
"Home by Choice" also has advice on how to create a life that nourishes mother and child, how to develop your talents as a stay at home mom, dealing with your own painful childhood, and with husbands who want you to work rather than stay home and care for your kids.
All in all "Home by Choice" is a fantastic read, and I feel that it should be required reading for all moms. The copy that I reviewed was borrowed from the local library.
