Our children could hear that we enjoy and treasure them every day, but unless we make a conscious effort to let them know, we may be too busy or distracted to remember the simple phrases that mean so much to all of us.
Is there someone in your life who gave you affirmations in childhood or who goes beyond compliments to let you know how much you mean to them right now? What we say, and how we spend time with our children, tells them how we feel about them as individuals, regardless of their daily accomplishments or challenges.
These days, we can be so busy, and so hurried, we don't take the time to relate to one another in positive and life affirming ways. Having a list of activities that crowd our days while cutting us off from real contact with one another is common in families who do not have a child with a diagnosis.
Several times a day, take a deep relaxing breath and think of what you most enjoy about your child. The thoughts that drift into your consciousness may surprise you.
Often, what is written up on developmental charts or as IEP goals have little to do with a child's personality, talents and abilities. They are always having to spend time on what is most difficult for them, rather than building on their strengths and interests.
Ordinary life should be delightful and inspiring for all of us. We are not in a dress rehearsal for our real lives. Often, we miss the small pleasures of each day because we are not paying attention. If you smile at something ten times a day, make an effort to smile fifteen times tomorrow. There are dozens of small events each day that just take noticing.
When you are counting what is wonderful about family members, count yourself in, too. We are role models, and more, for our children. They identify with us. Hearing positive remarks and affirmations about parents is like hearing the same about themselves. They feel they are partially us until they are fully grown.
Say something nice about yourself two or three times each day. That is more difficult than it sounds, especially if others are not appreciating us out loud.
Many families do not have the habit of making positive comments about themselves or one another. It can take time to build up the habit. Keep trying until you are comfortable verbally admiring one another.
It is well worth making the effort to spend time with friends and family members who build up our self confidence and trust, and finding professionals or other staff who do the same. Often, mentioning that you are experimenting with affirmation in your child's life and asking other adults to try it out for a while will instigate better relationships all around.
Browse at your public library, local bookstore or online retailer for titles like: Your Child's Self Esteem by Dorothy Briggs; Being Me: A Kid's Guide to Boosting Confidence and Self-esteem by Wendy Moss;
and Bonding While LearningThoughts From the Middle of the Night
