Guest Author - Paula Petrie
I know a woman with seven brothers and sisters. She shared a bed with two sisters, suffering their elbows and feet. She endured taunting and humiliation by her brothers, and there was never enough of anything to go around. This friend of mine wouldn’t change her own childhood, but says she only wants one child and intends to give that child all the advantages she never had. Great!
All that one on one time to mold and help a budding citizen become strong and gifted in virtues the world needs. Or is there too much of this good thing going around? The trouble with large families was also their virtue. Kids had first hand lessons in compassion, patience, coping, making do, self-control, and going without; all in the safety of their own family unit. In speaking to adults who have come from large families, although they have lots of tales to share, most wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Today, many of my children’s friends are from single child families. These kids often have too much of everything. Larger ticket items are regularly received and expected. The kids being none the wiser for them. They believe in a level of requirement and entitlement that seems unrealistic and sheltered to me, and is frustrating to my three children. Many of these “single child” friends often don’t amuse themselves very well and feel no guilt in putting high demands on their parents. Otherwise, most seem like very nice, well mannered children.
Although I think these problems have more to do with the state of the world today than being an only child, these things do speak to personality and character; what you can create because you don‘t “have,” or fostering respect for the planet we live in. I do see that any child from any circumstance is capable of anything. But, I wonder if we are even coming close to providing our children with what they really need. Or, have we inadvertently found a way to shelter them from it.
When I was a child, I played for endless hours in the fields, the wood, along the brook and pond. There were exciting times, there were learning experiences and there were lots of free ways to unwind. I really felt privileged; that I was living a rich life. I try hard to make sure my kids get at least a bit of that in their lives. Many of their peers are involved in an overload of after school activities and live very structured lives.
But, the time I had to ponder the universe I wouldn’t trade. It taught me how to maintain a lower stress level and find a healthy perspective. I have learned that deeper thoughts are found in slower paces.
