When you feel that you are being taken for granted in any relationship whether romantic or work-related, this could signal the demise of that particular relationship. Feeling unsupported or even worse used ignites a smoldering resentment which gradually burns up the team spirit, or the dynamic duo as well as the joy of accomplishment. Interestingly enough, if you feel that you are being taken for granted, perhaps you are guilty of the same. It could be time to look in the mirror.

9 ways to change the dynamics

When you can’t shake the feeling of being taken for granted, it’s time to go the opposite route. This means doing kind, celebratory acts for your significant other, colleague, family member or supervisor. Be aware that you can transform an irritant into a pearl, similar to an oyster in a shell which needs an irritant, like an invading parasite, to build layers of calcium carbonate to create a pearl.

1. Answer this question honestly: Do you goad any of the people in your life into fulfilling your own negative prophecy?
   
2. Widen your angle of vision to realize that those annoying quirks you can’t stand might actually be their attempts to be helpful.
   
3. Are you demanding that they be perfectionists and achieve the unattainable? Are you making them feel like a failure – which means that they will lash out at you like a cornered animal, or not support you.
   
4. Become a positive coach. Give off good energy which will flow back to you.
   
5. Work on your own journey toward happiness and self-fulfillment. Could you be transmitting your unhappiness/stress to others and cause the boomerang effect?
   
6. Get back to basics like when you were first dating or when you first got your job. When you dated your spouse, you made him feel important. When you got your job, you could barely contain your eagerness to learn and do.
   
7. Celebrate daily with small actions and kind words.
   
8. Change the old story. Everyone hears good voices and bad voices in their head. Filter out the bad voices and listen to the good. Don’t focus on the pain whether physical or emotional because it will hurt more. What you give your attention to will become the theme of your life story. Focus on the good in your relationships.
   
9. A great relationship is built on good communication. Don’t speak the language of a butterfly to a grasshopper – you won’t be understood.

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For more information on managing your stress and reclaiming your life read my book, Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life. To listen to archived radio shows with guest experts visit Turn On Your Inner Light Radio Show