"Many of us resist the use of canes and other aids because we don't want to "give in" or admit to aging or illness, but this merely stresses the body further and increases our distress. In this age of makeovers, when reconstructive surgery is a booming business, we have greatly overinflated the value of appearance. Our society stigmatizes illness, and we seem to be phobic about the loss of youth and health. There is pressure to "fight" it. We experience a subtle form of shame about using a medical device, which is visible admission that we have a medical problem or that we are aging, and that we are somehow giving in and giving up. Yet avoiding the support we need when we need it is not merely a form of vanity, it robs us of the opportunity to get better!

"Spiritually, keeping up appearances in service of the ego rather than living the truth and accepting what is drains us deeply. In a sense, it is a form of pride before God, a refusal to accept what we are given. When we attempt to cover up infirmity or aging, we are saying that we are our bodies. We devalue ourselves by resisting the truth. We ignore our needs, and even our pain, to try to impress others." - p. 163

"When we have the courage and determination to obtain all the help and support we need, we've achieved a spiritual victory. We are deepening our virtues of honesty and acceptance. We are meeting ourselves fully. Be a friend to your body. Have compassion for yourself. Be the caregiver to yourself that in your heart of hearts you know you need. Surrender to what you need while having the courage to sustain your hope. Aim for the highest level of health. The balance between acceptance and hope is your holy ground." - ibid, p. 165