If you’ve never had a baby, there are so many things to think about that it is inevitable that there are many things that you either won’t remember to think about or that you won’t know enough to think about in the first place. That’s when you need to rely on your girlfriends the most: they tell you the things that the books, doctors, and blogs don’t think to mention. Well, here’s something to think about that almost everyone forgets to mention, but that you really need to think about before you head to the hospital to have your baby, because it is far easier to think about it now than it will be to deal with it after the baby comes!

You’ve talked about who you want with you when the baby is born, but have you talked about who you want to visit you afterward? Have you talked about a contingency plan in case you change your mind about that? Let me explain: you already know that you don’t know exactly how you’ll feel having a baby, which is why you’ve given careful thought to who you want to be there. It’s not like you’re telling your manicurist, “Yep! I’m being induced Friday at 8 a.m.! St. Luke’s – be there!” Why not? Because having a baby is a private, almost sacred, event and you only want to share it with those closest to you.

What you may not have realized is that the first few days after your baby is born are sacred, too, and while you may feel right now as though you want to show that baby off to the world, it is entirely possible that you’ll feel differently once he is with you. However, once you post your new son’s picture on your Facebook wall, you are probably going to start getting questions from your friends about when they can drop by and visit you in the hospital. It is far better to consider how you want to answer that question now than to wait and figure out how to answer it when you are in a postpartum haze.

To that end, here are a few questions to ask yourself regarding having visitors after your baby is born:

1. Are you generally a very social person, even when you are not at your physical and emotional best?

2. Do you have a core group of best friends, or do you tend to maintain more casual friendships with lots of people?

3. Is your husband comfortable with sharing the first days of your son’s life with people other than close family?

4. Are you prepared to tell people that they need to go so that you can rest/nurse/recover, even if it might hurt their feelings?

Considering these issues now will enable you to relax in the hours and days after your son is born. You may be envisioning a 24 hour-social in your room, while your husband doesn’t plan for anyone but his parents and yours to visit. How much more pleasant the whole experience will be if you settle the issue now!