You’ve been invited to go out. Do men still pay? Although it would be nice, from a woman’s point of view, men aren’t always expected to pay when dating.

It’s a new era. Gone are the “Mad Men” days when women waited around to be invited out on a date, where they were expected to look good, speak well and not have to pay anything. These days a woman can ask a man out on a date. And women can pick up the check. Oh the independence of it all...especially when both are holding down good-paying jobs and both can pay their portion of the bill. Gone are the days when women worked more hours for half the pay. But when a woman is asked out, should it be assumed that she is going to pick up her portion of the check?

Modern day style and etiquette says is breaks down to two things: First, is it truly a date? Second, who did the asking?

First, is it a date? Sadly, countless couples go out, spend a few hours of one-on-one time and either one or both aren’t sure if it’s even an actual “date”. Seriously? Why is this so hard to figure out? Truly this is not brain surgery. It doesn’t have to be that hard. Unless you are old friends and go out all the time, of course it’s a date!!!

If you are getting to know each other by spending some time together just the two of you, it’s a date. If you are out having dinner, meeting for drinks or sipping coffee and got gathered in a group, it’s a date. Sometimes even in a group it’s a date but that will be discussed in another article.

Second, who did the asking? If a guy asks a girl out, he pays. If a girl asks a guy out it’s either Dutch or the guy pays. This seems a bit skewed but that reality. If its same sex then it comes down to a combo of who did the asking and if there is a dominant personality involved. You may not like this or feel this insults you. If that’s the case, talk more to your potential date. Establish these answers to these questions before you go out. This way fewer assumptions and questions will be in the way of a potentially nice date.

Style and etiquette are pretty constant. Style and proper etiquette equates to a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good style. You want to make sure the other person is comfortable with how you act. Not the other way around. Dating, on the other hand, can be much muddier and less obvious.

Happy dating.