Guest Author - Meg Grooms
*This is a combined article written by former host Terrie, and current host, Meg*
Most new homeschoolers begin by seeking a support group, yet many experienced homeschoolers don’t belong to one. What goes wrong in the years in between?
Initially, a homeschooler is seeking any sort of advice they can find. They want to know about curricula, schedules, accountability, and of course, socialization. They want other moms or dads to talk to and other homeschoolers for their children to play with. They also want reassurance. If they find older children at the group who are smart, successful and well-behaved, they will feel
reassured that they are doing the right thing. They want validation.
It is this validation that sometimes creates problems. A large percentage of support groups continue to be run by Christian groups, sectarian and non-sectarian alike, and often do not allow others to join. Many families who are home educating for religious and philosophical reasons enjoy the fellowship of like-minded parents. Additionally, groups with one main focus are better able to provide curriculum advice, shared learning, and activities centered on this focus. There are non-sectarian groups that do open their doors to families of differing beliefs, however, many times the groups unintentionally make those members feel uncomfortable. In many instances groups tend to radiate around children of a certain age range, very often 10 years and older. Homeschoolers with children in preschool and early elementary may find it very difficult to find a group that fits their needs.
As homeschooling becomes more common and more diverse, these issues are gradually changing. Inclusive groups are springing up everywhere which are open to all. More and more parents are deciding to establish support groups that better suit their family's needs.
An inclusive group is a safe haven for those who want to choose their own path without judgement. The word "inclusive" has many interpretations, so be sure to inquire about the group's mission statement and current offerings before investing your emotions. Inclusive groups are very diverse by their very nature. This diversity can be a boon to any homeschool program, especially those families that consider cultural acceptance and literacy as a priority. An inclusive group also has it's drawbacks to consider. Inclusive groups tend to spring over in new member applications, and often the group grows to the point of overflow. If the leadership isn't prepared to deal with a large number of member families disaster often follows. Prepared leaders will make arrangements for this occurance from the start, before they are ever needed. A very popular option in large groups is to break the larger group into "mini-groups" with a main focus, such as each group catering to a certain age group or homeschooling style.
Each homeschool parent needs to think about what they want from a support group. Do you want to find people who live and teach similarly, or do you want a diverse group that will help your family explore a variety of options? Are you interested in helping your children meet friends who share common values, or do you want to put a little cultural diversity into their life? Are you looking for structured speakers and training, or do you really just want a play group or cooperative experience?
Over time, my own needs for support have changed. When I began attending support group meetings, I attended a diverse play group an hour away where the moms sat and shared experiences. I was looking for a group that offered more activities in my town, however. I encountered many groups who were not willing to accept my family because I was the wrong religion, I didn't attend the right church, or they felt my children were too young to be considered homeschooled. I decided that forming my own inclusive group for early-years children would be the best route for my family, and that group is still alive today. I find that as my experience with educating my children has increased, my need for support has decreased. I find that I am now reaching a point where I can be of use to those who stood in the position I did so recently.
In choosing your own group, find people who support your efforts and make you feel successful. Look for a mixture of beginning and experienced homeschoolers who can guide you and also who can share the challenges of being new. Make sure the support part of the support group meets your needs. It is very helpful to know other homeschoolers, but only if they make you feel good about your choices.
