"How can we help?" is a question often asked of us. All people are different so what worked for us might not for someone else. But if you’re stuck wondering what to do, here are some things that we've found helpful during our tragic journey.

Is it better to not know about a deadly disease and die having lived a happy life or to know about it and be able to have hope for survival?

We recognize how difficult it must be for others to know how to behave around us. It’s like walking on egg shells trying to say the right thing or not say the wrong thing to us, the emotionally fragile parents.

We are not the people we used to be nor will we ever be again. No longer do we look at life the same. There is a shadow, a darkness that envelops all that we see.

In recent weeks, a local story about a child who went missing from her home has been a topic of many news stories. Her town spent a week searching for her and I watched the story unfold with a heavy heart. An autopsy was conducted and results are still pending.

I never quite knew why women would wail after a death of a loved one. It’s a cultural difference and/or a religious difference, I always thought. But now I understand. It's a physical response to grief.

For anyone who’s lost a child, it is nearly impossible to fathom that life moves forward. It’s not plausible that daily routines and events can continue on without our son or daughter. But the world does move forward; it does continue on and inevitably we are faced with moving with it.

How time feels like it moves so slowly and yet is gone so quickly.

Our daughter is dead and we all we hear is “merry Christmas” or “enjoy the holidays” or “the new year will be better”. ‘Tis the season to be jolly does not compute. Merry and bright are the opposite descriptions of how we really feel. Holly, jolly, fa, la, la, la, la. Blah.

We are working so hard to manage our emotions that our bodies suffer. The physical elements of grief are serious and sneak up on us without our knowledge because we are so mentally consumed in our heartache. It is so important that we be aware that grief can make us sick.